so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
of course. lets lasso hookers.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
