8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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