I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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