It's a beautiful day for a hangover
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?