Say something about gay babies.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
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