And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Randomize
