so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Please don't give away my fajitas
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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