i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
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You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
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The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!