Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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