i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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