Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
