He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize