i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
