im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
