last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
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