Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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