Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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