shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
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