i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Randomize
