Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize