how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
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