Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
