it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
