That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
