its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
