Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Randomize