Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
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