I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
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