I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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