I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
