I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
