I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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