sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
You left your underwear on the fireplace
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
