So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Randomize
