dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
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