Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
