Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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