i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
