We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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