I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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