kristin has been a bad kristin
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Randomize
