you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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