I wish I could teleport
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
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