haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
