you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Randomize
