so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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