Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Help me help you realize you are a moron
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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