How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
i'm really worried about him.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
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I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
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I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.