Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(904): View more from Florida

I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool

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(503): View more from Oregon

I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.

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(713): View more from Texas

You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".

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(860): View more from Connecticut

Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.

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These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious
Read it at the TFLN blog
(817): View more from Texas

We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.

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(713): View more from Texas

Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made

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(703): View more from Virginia

I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.

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(310): View more from California

If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave

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(908): View more from New Jersey

lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky

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