i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night