Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Randomize
