he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.