Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
