omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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