Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize