just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Randomize