tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
