come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
