You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
