bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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