I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Randomize
