Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
