i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
It's just like the Real World with babies
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
