Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
