A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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