Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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