Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
