I hate all girls vehemently.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
