Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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