I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
