Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
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