eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
He better not be in your backpack
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Pooping to opera.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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