i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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