I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Randomize
