Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Hello my rib-scented angel!
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
